A clinical resolution of the Israeli / Palestinian conflict

For the past few years, a number of peace activists have proposed a novel way to resolve the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. The beauty of their proposal is in its simplicity. Exploiting recent advances in science, they suggest that a little clinical analysis would straighten out the warped minds of many a delusional Zionist and create a psychologically positive environment for a rational resolution to the conflict between the natives of the Holy Land and their European tormentors.

DNA studies can conclusively prove that the Palestinians are the indigenous people of Palestine and that the Israelis are mostly of Eastern European Yiddish ancestry or descendants of assorted non-Palestinian Middle Eastern and North African Jews. In fact, a comprehensive DNA study would retire the entire body of Zionist mythology to the scrap heap of history. The conclusions of such a probe would certainly be a great stride in the direction of a permanent peace and a just resolution of this conflict.

Such a scientific endeavor would immediately provide a few simple answers to some very basic questions. Are Israelis just Palestinian wannabes? Do they covet Palestinian ancestry as well as Palestinian real estate? How intellectually warped do you have to be to even consider the preposterous theology of the Zionist cult? The answers provided by a comprehensive DNA study will certainly focus the minds of delirious Israelis who strut about proclaiming themselves of Holy Land pedigree.

Zionism is an ideological relic of the late nineteenth century that has been resurrected by the loonies who subscribe to the Evangelical Judeo-Christian Identity movement. At its core, this European political movement was all about manifest destiny, chosen white people, and by extension ‘disposable Middle Eastern natives’. It is the white supremacy movement of old – adorned in a new garb laced with a veneer of ‘values’ and ‘heritage’.

One can only imagine what the Holy Land would be like had its fate not fallen into the hands of Lord Balfour and the other racist social engineers of the British Empire -” who thought nothing of eradicating a whole non-European nation. Had it not been for the advent of the Zionist movement, the Palestinians would probably be the most honored people on the planet – if only for passing on their monotheistic traditions and Abrahamic values to their brothers and sisters around the globe.

Being a Palestinian must be a mind warping experience. Consider a very short version of their tragic story: Their ancestors – the ancient wise men of the Holy Land – inspired by the most credible creation mythology, took the risk of exporting their illuminating spiritual experience to the rest of the world. For going to the trouble of sharing their creed, their descendants now pay the stiff price of losing their ancestral lands. Out of the blue, thousands of years later, a deranged messianic fool like Tom Delay emerges from some back alley in Texas with an eviction notice and George Bush shows up with a posse to help Sharon enforce it. The Palestinians ask the messianic nuts why they do what they do and they respond that they were inspired by something one of your ancestors might have said a few thousand years ago.

Folks like Tom Delay believe that decimating the Palestinians paves the road to Armageddon. I am certain if the scriptures said the road to Armageddon went through Crawford, Delay would show up at Dumbya’s ranch riding a Caterpillar bulldozer.

Every Zionist -” whether Jewish or Evangelical -” believes that Palestinians Christians and Muslims deserve to be evicted from their native lands because they consistently fail a medieval test of faith in the Jewish creed. No matter, that the Palestinians are the only verifiable progeny of the very same ancients who wrote both the Old and the New Testament. In the warped mind of Tom Delay, the legacy of inspirational Palestinian liturgy -” a gift to the world from their Holy Land ancestors – is reason enough for the collective punishment of modern day Palestinians and the wholesale confiscation of their patrimony. The Palestinians are not burdened with the sins of their fathers -” but with the spiritual gifts of their ancestors.

Today, ten million people live in the land of Palestine (Israel and the occupied territories). About 55% of them are Israeli Jews and the rest are descendents of the indigenous native people who are aptly called Palestinians. It should be noted that another six million Palestinians continue to live in exile as refugees, making up the single largest refugee population in the world. So, about eleven million Palestinians all over the planet can claim descent from the ancient people of the Holy Land.

All told, we have a conflict that involves about sixteen million people -” eleven million native Palestinians and five million uninvited invaders of the Jewish faith. One might also consider adding in the nine million or so Jews who live outside Israel -” although I suspect a vast majority of them might not be aware they have a conflict with the Palestinians.

A comprehensive DNA study would not just benefit the collective mental health of delusional Israelis who fancy themselves of Semitic origin. Many Palestinians are also in denial as to their Jewish heritage and their blood relations to the ancient Hebrew tribes. Before they became Christians, they were Jewish or Hellenic. Before many of them converted to Islam, they were Christian. When people speak of Massada, it is the Palestinians who should gloat with pride at the heroism of their ancient warriors. When the conversation turns to the legacy of Jesus of Nazareth, it is the Palestinians who should claim him as the greatest son of Palestine.

The Palestinians were the first nation to profess Judaism and the first to rally around Jesus -” forming the nucleus of what eventually became a universal religion. They were also the first people, outside of Arabia, to convert to Islam. Their imprint on the three major branches of the Abrahamic traditions is unmistakable.

What we have here is mass confusion about collective identity. The European Zionists believe themselves of ancient Palestinian pedigree and the natives of the Holy Land have some kind of collective mental block that prevents them from taking pride in the scriptural feats of their Hebrew ancestors.

Unlike the Palestinians, the Arabic speaking natives of Lebanon embrace their Phoenician heritage. Egyptian Copts and Muslims no longer worship Pharonic deities. But the native people of the Nile Valley continue to cherish their inheritance from the glorious ancient civilization built by their ancestors. Jordanians lay claim to the legacy of the Nabateans and the natives of Damascus boast that their city is the oldest continuously inhabited metropolis on the planet. The fact that their tongues now communicate in Arabic has not diminished their zeal in honoring the pre-Arab cultures of their ancestors.

The Palestinians should follow the example of their neighbors and make exclusive claim to the heritage of the ancient people of the Holy Land. Let the Yiddish intruders carry the burden of discovering their authentic roots and redesigning their family tree.

This is not to suggest that the Yiddish folk who now lord over Palestine should be ashamed of their central European past. Most people of European heritage eventually mange to adjust to their ancestors’ legacy. If the Zionists need therapy to cross the identity bridge to their true heritage, the Palestinians should be gracious enough to pay for the couch. Give the Israelis a little space to reacquaint themselves with their real parents before obliging them to abandon the mythological lineage they have adopted.

At its core, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict comes down to extraordinary popular delusions and the madness of crowds. Those who are committed to resolving this murderous genocidal conflict should work to infuse a little rational DNA tonic into the volatile mix.

Israelis are always boasting about how modern and advanced they are. Maybe a sampling of the of the wonders of DNA science will help them discover that they shouldn’t confiscate other people’s land and try to cover up their crimes with collective identity theft.